Dear Amy at 29,
By this point… if we haven’t published one of our novels, even self-published, then we need to drop all fears and find ourselves a great self-publishing offer. That’s it. No more excuses. It must seem weird to you that I am pushing this so much, but current Amy still questions a lot of things. Probably sounds even weirder given how outgoing we are as an individual, but it’s true that we tend to over think and over analyze. It makes us a good sounding board, and we are quick to consider multiple options.
It is my hope that we have a new cat by now and that the healing process has come full circle. Jones was such an important part of our lives and I feel bad thinking that we wouldn’t give another cat a chance at a new life. I think Jones would be glad that we gave another feline friend a better home outside of the shelter. There are lots of cats at the SPCA and other shelters here, and it would be nice to take in one that has been waiting awhile. I know that the older ones are less popular, since they are closer to the end, but I think that would be a great fit for us. A cat companion who is older and calmer, one who likes to eat and sleep and cuddle, and one who is happy in the sunshine through the window. Damn… I miss that cat.
It may be a morbid thought, but I wonder how many more people will die between now and 29. So many of our friends and family members have already passed on that it seems almost inevitable that the count will be high.We found out about another loss this week, our Tim Hortons companion, Des. Sad to say that we found out much too late. We had gotten him a Christmas card but didn’t see him much around the winter. It’s still here at the house because when we did see him the few times after the holidays we just didn’t have it with us. I’m avoiding looking at it. It’s in our office on the pink memory board.
This will also be the year of our five-year wedding anniversary. When I asked Alex what I should write about to you, he said that I could write about us being together. Seems like an obvious statement to me now. Why wouldn’t we be. It’s a thought that I don’t say out loud too often, but I really believe that he saved our life. We weren’t in the best of phases when we met him, but he was there and open to helping anyway he could. He’s the yin to our yang, keeps us balanced and we reciprocate, notices the small changes in demeanor, shares our love for perfection with flaws, and would stop the world if needed. That probably sounds like a lot of cheese, but at least its Gouda.
We had joked about going back to Walt Disney World for our fifth anniversary and renewing our vows at the parks — or in some place unique anyway. I am pretty sure that we suggested the parks and he didn’t argue. It would be nice to do something small anywhere really and just celebrate how far we’ve come. It will be five married years, but it will also be twelve years that we have been together and worked through any divots. Tate used to joke that we were like Hawk and Dove, balancing and understanding of each other in such a unique way that is specific to us. I just hope that we continue to talk churros, cartoons, and cheeseburgers.
-A
A. N. Stetzl 