May Amy – #25 – Love & Marriage

5-Bride + Groom-5

Dear Amy at 24,

This is it – this year is all of our stress and nerves bundled up. We would be lying if we said we hadn’t been planning the wedding since Alex gave us our first wedding planner for a Valentines Day many moons ago.

Thanks to our long engagement, the biggest worry is just paying everything off rather than locking down contracts – something we did almost right after we got engaged. The details are sorted and everything seems all fine, and then like always something fit hits the fan… that’s how it goes, right?

First off – our landlord declares bankruptcy and has to move back into our place so they drop off a hand written letter in the middle of the night to evict us with less than the minimum amount of notice. We write her an email and outline the tenancy act for her which gives us exactly two months from her and then we have to leave. Luckily finding a new place isn’t too difficult, but when we go to sign the papers we realize that something is wrong with Jones – he is acting odd and walking weird so we panic.

The vet thinks that he had some kind of stroke and isn’t sure if he will get back to the way he was, but runs some tests and gives us some meds to work with. We dismantle our bed so that we are only sleeping on the mattress on the floor (so he can get onto it easily) and we cordon off anything that he might try to jump on (and then fall because he has no strength). We also keep everything in our room, switch to a lower litter box, do some muscle exercises, and make sure that someone is with him at all times.  Slowly he starts to regenerate and is back to his old self except for the weird tremors he gets when he sleeps. Apparently an after effect of a stroke, residual memory of the trauma or something like that. Sometimes he shoots himself a foot or so over from where he was.

Needless to say we don’t end up signing the papers in time. Our one roommate moves in with their partner, and our other moves on to other things. We clean the crap out of the place, get a dump person to come take all the extra stuff out, leave everything in better condition than it was, and then get duped out of our deposit because none of us can do a walk through and… well… the landlord is broke. So with four-ish months until the wedding we move into our in-laws basement. It’s temporary and we hope to be out before the wedding but it doesn’t happen.

Jones stops eating and they tell us that he needs oral surgery as soon as possible because some of his teeth are melting into his gums. We start a donation page and soon piece together enough to get started. The oral surgery goes well, we get picture updates, and soon  he is home again. A little worse for wear, its hard having so many changes in quick succession for a small pet, but he seems alright.

Wedding comes and nothing seems to be alright with us. The flower lady uses an older agree so our finalized arrangements are not there, the seat sashes are not the right color, the many minor details that only we would know about do not please our OCD, and the wedding dress will not zip up. Fear not! KG brought her wonderful mother who has a keen sense for sewing (especially since she sewed her own wedding dress) and within an hour or two it is all resolved the night before — at least the dress is.

We lose our luggage tags, our hair gets cut, and we are off to our Disneymoon in Florida. WDW is amazing – we could probably write a whole letter about it, but just soak in the time without worries with Alex. Nothing else but the moment matters and it is perfect for the time that it was.

When we get back, Jones is looking a little under the weather. We take him in and they say his kidneys are failing fast. I will never understand how they didn’t see that in any of their other tests from his strokes or surgery where they literally tested every single thing to make sure we were on the right stuff, but they didn’t. We make his life as comfortable as possible, and then eventually (a few weeks later) its time. Jones was one of the best cats we ever had, and we haven’t existed with Alex without him so it hits us hard. The moment we see that he is struggling we take him in – its 1-2 in the morning – and the vet says that this cat has had so much strength and comeback that he wants to hope there is more but there probably isn’t. Hardest decision, but for a cat as his age it is the best one – we would never want him to suffer at all. We don’t sleep that night. We take some time off. I wish I could tell you that this death gets easier, but it still isn’t the same without him and we still don’t have another pet.

A week later we get a phone call interview with Disney Interactive, then a live interview, and then a job offer. In the main interview our future manager asks us how we handle change. We bring up Jones’ struggle right after the happiness of our wedding and right before the happiness of finally getting a Disney interview. We cry… in an interview… and we will be known as that girl or the girl with the lightsaber chopsticks for the first few months. Moving to this job and being surround by similarly minded people was the best comfort and still is. You’re going to love it, and I know you will because I still do.

– A

Wedding Wednesday: When Geeks Wed

If there was one thing that I could say with confidence about our wedding, aside from eff ya I got married to an awesome man, I would say that it was us. Honestly, there were a lot of things that I didn’t like about our wedding – but… none of them were things that I had control over AND none of them were things that could have reflected us. I won’t go into detail about what was wrong, but everything that was oh so right, was just oh so us.

The table settings – were us

The words in the ceremony – were us

The diy aspects – were us

The nods to different fandoms – were us

The song choices – were us

The things we had control over – were us

That’s really what is the most important.

Though I can tell you that when it came down to the day of, all I was worried about was whether or not the damn groom would show up. What a silly thing to think. Like come on – man has been around for almost seven years, only to bail when we’ve spent so much money on something so hallmark and overrated. If you know Mr. Squared there is nothing more unlikely.

I’m just going to put this here:

extra-A

Ever After

Almost one month ago I had it in my brain that I was some how going to post every day before our wedding – I’d love to laugh at that ambitious girl now because that definitely did not happen.

The wedding has come and gone, leaving me the official Mrs. A Squared. In an odd sense I thought that I would feel different. I definitely did not expect a sense of “wifey duty” to kick in or anything like that, but in a way… I suppose I expected to feel more accomplished. Truth is I’ve really been Mrs. A Squared for quite some time and already had a lot of this “feeling” a part of my day-to-day so I am not sure how I could have thought things would be different.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not bad that it doesn’t feel different. Not at all. Maybe I feel un-accomplished? That probably sounds ridiculous. The wedding itself was lovely, the reception had its quirks – and its true that I will be the only one who knows about them but that’s the problem. I know. I am very much a perfectionist to the point where I can be anal retentive. The miniscule details are not something to dwell on, maybe I will outline the events later, so let’s jump to the honeymoon.

Disney World – I want to say… not what I expected. In fact you can expect a comparison (though a direct comparison would be unfair) between Disneyland and Disney World in the coming weeks. I plan to outline why we may never go back to Florida. Perhaps it was that I went in there expecting what I have come to love about Disney and I was disappointed, or perhaps it was the endless other things. No, not the weather – that was actually a highlight, we love storms. What I am talking about is a list of negative experiences from the people (Not the Floridians) to allergic reactions. Not to mention we came home to our cat practically comatose with depression – he lost 3 kg while we were away. We aren’t sure whether he was just lonely or perhaps its just his time.

Truth be told… this could be an extremely long post so its best for me to just spread it out over time and morph it into a “Wedding Wednesdays” type of deal. Share everything from the DIY projects to the events themselves.

Seat belts from left to right. Row one, tug on your yellow straps. Row two. Row three. Good – hold onto to anything you don’t wish to lose from this dimension. 🙂

– A

Wedding Countdown

We are in the two-week crunch and, like a handful of brides, I have it in my head that I want everything done the week before… so I am basically giving myself them next five *two* (shows you when I last had a break to write this) days if you count today. Or if you consider Monday the start of the week, then I have six days. Sounds mind melting really – but totally worth it if I don’t have to worry about anything the last week before.

Except… I do.

My parents are not going to be here until the Wednesday before the wedding so anything that they are bringing I cannot touch until next week; which of course includes the all important dress. No point in hiding it, I’ve had my dress for a long time – when you fall in love with a wedding dress you just know. They have those silly moments on TV shows that tell you that brides are a distant cousin of Godzilla, but really those moments aren’t necessarily the same for everyone so no harm in not crying.

Actually I think my “moment” for this wedding happened yesterday 29-July.

We got an email telling us that the suits were all done and ready for pick up – Huzzah – though they did misquote our event date. ‘Not a problem,’ they said, ‘take ’em now but try ’em on first.’ So Mister Squared ducks into the change stall, the other two are already filled, who cares anyway just take your time. And you know he does. After awhile let’s not over exaggerate – 7 and a half minutes – he pops out, buttons done up and the whole Sh-Bam and wow. Tears. The world walked up to me, slapped me in the face, and said ‘Listen up this is the moment.” All I needed.

Wedding in 8 days? Bring it – I am ready.

-A

Straight up ill

My mother-in-law received a desktop flip chart this week that is composed of various moods. Though I disagree that some of these are moods, the vast majority I can stand as a living proof of their existence in the mood category. Lately I have been nothing but stressed, overwhelmed, and lets just say… istlesslay.

Monday and Tuesday of this week went by somewhat swimmingly; I had a mentee this week, I was quite excited to be asked to have a newbie listen in to my calls. I have been struggling at work as everyday I sit there and ponder my existence as a staff member, there are still many people who won’t even acknowledge me and I have been there since August last year. For example one colleague, who was on my ‘team’ at the time, brought something homemade and was sharing it with everyone. She walked into the corner, offering it to everyone as she passed by them – I eagerly awaited my turn as they did look delicious. Then she went to the person to my right, chatted briefly while I waited in what we call wrap time for her to move on, and then moved towards me… and then looked at me… and then without acknowledgement or a smile or anything of the sort she then moved to the person on my left. Needless to say I spent Monday and Tuesday making sure that my mentee was introduced to as many people as possible so that he did not feel the same way.

Enter Wednesday.

Wednesday I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a bus – I didn’t get much sleep, and I woke up from the little sleep I had in tears and sweating. Like most people I hate being sick, unlike a lot of people I hate doctors. I am sure they are nice people who are well-trained and friendly but the idea of being in a germ filled room where countless others have sat before me, trapped with posters that are meant to make me feel at ease are taped to the roof is unsettling. Not to mention I cannot count the number of times I have been left in a room that has not had the paper on the table changed, let alone the number of times I have sat in a room waiting for more than an hour. Here you might chip in that it is just offices then that I have a keen dislike for, not doctors as a whole. Nope. There is also a strong dislike for Hospitals, rooms in hospitals, and waiting in hospitals. My last two visits to my local hospital were abhorrent at best. The most recent I had an attendant who couldn’t seem to find my veins for an IV – in either hands after around ten or so tries… each hand. The time before that was when I was left in a room with bloody bandages on the floor… for so long that the lights turned off due to inactivity – almost 3 hours… and it was one of those mass rooms for general inquiries and no one else was in it. I know that staff and the hospital in general can be busy but it was pretty damn close to four in the morning when we left. This tangent has been brought to you by the fact that I am still not entirely present in my own body.

Needless to say – when I woke up Wednesday I was not entirely calm, you could say I was panicked but it’s not the best word… I would go with paranoid. So I called in to work and managed to pass out… and then I did it all over again… and again… and again until finally I managed to sleep a reasonable amount of hours but was left with a cactus for a throat.

Enter Thursday, which would have been a rinse repeat except for the fact that I began to lose everything I held dear… in my stomach. Nothing was immune – crackers, soup, I think I gave up after Mr. Squared went to work because although I hate being sick, and getting sick, I hate not having a back up plan. Did I mention that my car also died this week? So if I were to be unable to stop getting sick and needed to leave to the hospital or the doctors I would basically be stranded without him. Taxi you say? Try a maxed out credit card and $13 dollars to your name – not to mention we live in the absolute middle of nowhere across the bridge from the city. None of that is feasible, but at least I called in sick.

Day three: Friday. Might as well have been a zombie movie. Dehydrated. Hungry. Lost. Bedridden. I made a cocoon which was lovingly posted on Facebook, and there is no sarcasm in that. I managed to get up long enough to call in to work and keep something down which is a positive. The equal and opposite reaction to which is that I left my phone unplugged, it died, and now my employer needs paperwork because I was gone three days; more than likely due to the fact that I have a limited number of paid sick days. Mr. Squared managed… no not the right word… forced, perhaps? Point really is I was out of the bed, albeit it briefly, while he drove to get food and come back.

Fast forward to today: my throat still hurts but I am sitting in front of the computer and can breathe normally and yet… I have not only missed three days of work – which now apparently requires me to fill out paperwork – but I am also three days behind on my wedding planning which is ridiculously behind. Wedding in 42 days and now behind on everything by an extra three.

Cat’s dying
+ I’m sick
+ Car is dead
+ Behind in Planning
+ Wedding in 42 days
_____________________
= Completely Overwhelmed and stressed

-A